Wow, its been a realy long time since my last entry, half a year, usually its only a quarter a year. Let me start off by saying that college is not for me. thats not to say that i'm a drop off. but that going away to college was not the exciting adventure everyone makes it out to be, in fact its quite the opposite, really sucks here. I'm sure your all thinking that what could be better than just hanging out in your Dorm playing cards or video games, or waching TV? well let me correct you, these things do not happen. no body does that, its very boring here. The only thing kids do in the dorms or go out to do is Drink, and if its not that its sitting here doing homework.

The only thing other than hw i do is work. I'm working two jobs now. The first is an off campus job at a fast food place. Unfortunatly this community was made for rich people with cars, so the sidewalk is none existant, and the old sidewalk, which is made for walkers. so its not very fun riding my bike home at 9 oclock at night in the dark, alone the sidewalk where the asphalt is cracking and i can't see the path and when i have to go onto the road i almost get killed. Cuz of course, were not allowed cars on campus. but i get free food out of the deal

The other job i hate, my professor/ advisor is making me work for him at the media center and i have like 5 different bosses there giving me 3 different projects which often require compression which takes like 3 hours at a time meaning i have to be there over time plus i don't get service up there, which really really sucks, epscially when theres a crisis.

But mostly i hate the feeling of being left out. i'm not a part of anything. Theres no sports i can do here, theres no clubs, i tried the student radio station, thought that might be fun, turned out to be really stupid and boring. and i tried to get involved with the film kids in their projects, however i can't stand the professors and other people who work there. and all my friends here go out drinking. I don't drink. so theres no where i fit in. But most of all, if i'm needed at home, i can't help at all, because i'm stuck here, 6 hours away and that has happened several times already this semester. Kaci if your reading this, i miss you, and i wish i was home with you, it makes me sick thinkingof all that trouble and me stuck ehre not able to do anything. absolutely sick to my stomach

i want to go home